she likes to drown here pain, in lemonade and have aimless conversations about the better days...

most of the time it takes quite a bit for me to stop everything i am doing and just commit a quote to memory in order to be able to share it with someone again. the other day i came across a letter that not only stopped me in my path, but kept me there for a good hour while i cried until i was coughing so hard i thought i was going not going to breathe ever again... anyways... here are the words that took me aback...

--Maybe you make a decision and then you find out later that that doesn't work. Welcome to life, try something else. Failure provides you with the information you need to have success in the future. Failure is not a destination, it is a stop on the way to success, but only if you are willing to be bigger than it and move on, most people aren't able to do that and failure is accepted and in some cases expected by them. Do not allow yourself to be defined by failure, but by the ability to rise above the times you have failed.--

i was thinking about the truth in these words. it amazes me how even in his death how my fathers voice teaches me things i need to know, when i need to know them. i think sometimes i get so wrapped up in doing everything the right way that i forget that it is okay to not be perceived as perfect. i forget that it is okay to fall down, to make mistakes and to get lost. because when those things happen i tend to look towards the busyness as something to blame for the failure. i think sometimes though i need to look more at being okay in the fact that i failed. not be defined by the failure, but at least accepting it for what it was, and then overcoming that definition.

i love the idea that life is about the journey, but in every journey you need to take some detours, and you have to go off-course in order to find the most beautiful things... for example my roommate and i recently took a week-long trip down to oklahoma to visit someone who was spending some time hanging out in the hospital. it was a long, emotional roller-coaster of a week, but in the end we decided we needed a day to explore and so we drove to dallas, since we were so close to texas we decided it was worth it, just to say we had been in seven states in seven days! anyways, on our way, i started taking pictures while i was driving, which is normal for me, and a.w. (the roomate!) was getting a little worried about me hitting cars! so we decided to take this exit and switch. well we took this exit, but there was no where to switch, and it was some crazy backroads that you had to take to get back on the freeway. well it was possibly the best detour ever. we saw these enormous valleys and this hill with three crosses! it was absolutely beautiful. we would never have seen it though if we would have stayed on the freeway...

anyways, so that is my point. a lot of time i feel like i get "off-track" but i don't i just am finding better ways to get to the same place. i think all of these things help me define my goals and ambitions. they help me see what is possible over what is just there... i pride myself on being an idealist, and i am worried about not getting somewhere the right way! that should be the least of my concerns!
okay well that is what i have on my mind right now!

love love love...
a.